


Let Bastion Say 'Fuck'

by WolffyLuna



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Big Brother Dynamic, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Nonbinary Bastion, Swearing, bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 00:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7384534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolffyLuna/pseuds/WolffyLuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: As it says on the tin, someone gains the rogue omnic's trust, upgrades their speech processors, teaches them a few words and then teaches them the important stuff like "fuck you I'm Bastion" and "robots have no gender you mammalian shithead,"<br/>+ Bastion has a very sweet and gentle voice processor, it isnt too expressive, but they can manage a dry tone and they can also get really, really loud</p><p>Feat. Lúcio and Bastion being bros, excessively loud robots, and Tobjörn being put in his place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Bastion Say 'Fuck'

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the 'every hero ends up in the new Overwatch' AU. I didn't follow the prompt exactly, but I hope you still enjoy!

Bastion waved at Lúcio. “Hello.” They made a sharp whistle, their equivalent of a exclamation mark. Their new voice box let them speak english, but their voice was flat and painfully American. They supplemented it with noises from their old box, with chirps for question marks, smiley theremin noises and frowny beeps.

Lúcio gave them a high five. “Hey, Bastion, how’s it hanging?”

“What does ‘fuck’ mean.” Question mark chirp.

Lúcio blinked twice. You didn’t expect someone with robot Mr Rogers’ voice to say ‘fuck.’ Plus... Despite being older than he was by a fair whack, Bastion pushed all his ‘this is my little sib’ buttons. He tried to not let it colour his actions too much, because they certainly weren’t a child and he didn’t want to patronise them. But you didn’t ever expect your little sib to ask you to explain that word either. “What was the context? That word means-- a lot of things.” There was another layer of sympathy; that of one non-native speaker to another. It wasn’t the most inconsistent and multi-layered English word, but it certainly wore a lot of hats. And hey, maybe he would explain it better than some of the others, because he had to work out the rules and uses of that word by himself.

“Was told to ‘fuck off.’”

 _Oh._ Lúcio could guess who might have said it. Tobjörn probably, maybe one of the other old guard. One of the ones who hadn’t got the message that _yes, there were omnics in Overwatch because it was their world too--_ He paused that train of thought. No need to get so het up. “It means ‘go away.’ In a pretty-- not nice way.”

Bastion looked downcast, and made a sad glissando.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. If they say it to you, you’re totally allowed to say it right back at them.” Bastion perked up a little. “Or you could say: ‘Fuck you!’” Lúcio swept his hand out towards the Overwatch logo on the wall, like it was a hypothetical Bastion insulter.

“FUCK YOU.” Bastion shouted at the logo.

Lúcio clapped his hands to his ears. “Yeah, like that.”

***

Bastion perched themself at a cafeteria table while Lúcio rifled through the fridge. He pulled out a packet of grated cheese.

“That’s fucking _cheeeeese_ \--”

Lúcio laughed with the shock of it. “Yeah, that’s one way to use that word.”

Bastion giggled, partly with little clicks and bloops, and partly by saying “Ha ha ha.”

***

It sounded like a smoke alarm going off. A very angry smoke alarm. Lúcio skated off, his train of thought quickly turning into a loop of ‘ _oh shit oh shit oh shit--_ ’

That was a Bastion noise. The sort of noise that made you say “Let’s just get Bastion out of this situation,” followed shortly by “Quick, everyone take cover!”

Someone had to de-escalate the robot.

He nearly skated past them, and had to grab the doorframe to stop. Bastion still beeped, and vibrated angrily. Tobjörn pointedly ignored them, and argued with Angela, while she convince Tobjörn to leave.

“I’m just saying _it_ shouldn’t be in Overwatch.” That _it_ was calculated, it made Lúcio shake with rage and want to kick him in the head.

Angela gave another tug on Tobjörn’s arm.

Bastion went very still. “I. Am. Not. An. It.”

Tobjorn still stayed turned away. “Are we really going to listen to it?”

In that second, Lúcio was torn between trying to drag Bastion away, or pull Angela out of the line of fire, _because shit was about to go down--_

Shit didn’t go down. At least, not in the bullet firing way.

“FUCK OFF.”

It was loud. Lúcio covered his ears (too late), and fell over backwards without his grip on the doorframe. His skull felt like someone had just tried to use it as a bell. He hoped that he hadn’t just lost a year of good hearing.

Tobjörn strode out, pale and wide eyed. Angela followed after him, muttering in German and holding one ear.

Lúcio walked back in.

Bastion uncurled themself from turret mode. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright.” He held out a first. “And congrats on standing up for yourself.”

Bastion bumped fists sheepishly. “I like that word.”


End file.
